I kinda feel sick. I don't exactly know whats wrong but I just feel all wrong. And no this is not me saying I am sad. I literally feel like everything in body is working wrong at the moment. My ribs are killing me, my head was hurting, and my nose kept running off and on all day. THIS IS NOT A MARATHON, NOSE !
I don't approve of my current situation. I also do not approve of being underage and at home on St. Patrick's day. This is only because all my friends are at least a year older than me which leads to me being left out of drinking fun. Its not even the drinking, its the fact that I can't be included. As much as sometimes I would rather be home, I would also rather go out and have fun. This weekend there are two parties that are happening so its okay, but still....
I guess I just don't know where I belong, so I want to stay where I feel safe.
The harsh truth though is that I will leave one day to find my place. I don't know when, but I know I will. Because in my mind I do not belong and I know I will want that feeling to change. Maybe I will be proven wrong and realize my place was here all along, and I had to be seen how wrong everything else before I realized how right everything is here. I am only 18 and should not be this critical how the world and myself. But this past month and a half has been horrible. I have wanted to kill my ex because he is rude to me all the time. I don't even want to him back or anything, I just want my friendship back. We supposedly ended well....so what is going on?
Also my family drama is ridiculous, waking up at 7am to yelling is not how life should be. Newsflash: mother and father I can hear you argue at night when I am on laptop awake in my room.
Ohwell, I am a strong believer in life working out for everyone in the end. One way or another. So what ever happens, happens.
Peace out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment